Why Is There So Much Judgement Around Sleep Training?
As I scroll through social media, I often see parents—especially mothers—facing pressure and judgment for the way they choose to care for their children. When a parent seeks advice on how to improve their child’s sleep, they can sometimes be met with unhelpful comments like "it’s normal," or worse, told that their approach could damage their child’s attachment.
It's baffling, especially in 2023 when there’s more open conversation around maternal mental health and seeking help. So, why are we still shutting down parents who are simply trying to make their lives easier and protect their mental well-being?
As someone who works with families from all walks of life and different parenting styles, I want to clear up a few things. No matter what parenting approach you follow—whether it’s gentle, attachment-based, or more structured—seeking support for your child’s sleep is completely valid. Sleep deprivation is incredibly tough, and it’s OK to admit when you need help. In fact, reaching out for support is one of the strongest things a parent can do.
Understanding Sleep Training
Let’s talk about sleep training. The term often gets a bad rap, but it’s important to know that sleep training doesn’t have to mean leaving your baby to cry. You can work on improving your child’s sleep in ways that align with your values and without compromising your relationship with your child. Babies don’t need to cry to learn how to sleep better. In fact, there are many gentle and loving ways to guide them to sleep, and these methods can still help them develop the ability to self-settle.
It’s also important to remember that while sleep will come to all babies eventually, the quality of that sleep can be so much better if babies are taught the skills to self-settle and connect sleep cycles. Just like babies learn to breastfeed effectively or gradually move onto solid foods, they can also learn the essential skills of sleep. There’s no need to feel guilt or shame for choosing to teach your baby to sleep in a way that works for your family.
No One-Size-Fits-All Approach
Every parent has their own journey, and every child is unique. It’s so important to celebrate the wins in each other’s parenting journeys. Whether your approach to sleep is gentle, structured, or a mix of both, what matters most is that it works for your family. We don’t need to judge each other for the choices we make—parenthood is tough enough as it is. Instead, let’s offer support and understanding to those who need it.
As a community, we can create a space where parents feel heard and supported, not judged. When someone reaches out for help, they are often at the end of their rope. Let’s meet them with empathy, not criticism.
Support Each Other, Celebrate Each Other
Mum life can be incredibly challenging, especially in today’s world where social media and societal pressures can make us feel like we’re constantly being judged. But we’re stronger when we come together as a community, sharing both our struggles and our victories.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by your child’s sleep or just need someone to talk to about your approach, please reach out. I’m here to support you on your journey, no matter what parenting style you follow. Let’s work together to find the solutions that will make life a little bit easier and allow your family to get the rest you deserve.
Reach out if you’d like more support or advice on navigating sleep training in a way that aligns with your values. I’m here to help.